So the player getting played story is going to be a running topic for a little while. Bare with me. I have a lot of animosity towards it and I just can't get it out fast enough.
After the player dusted himself off and went on with his life, he began to wonder what went wrong. He didn't know if it was him or if it was just his luck. In all reality, the player didn't believe in "luck." You make your own luck, good and bad. Nonetheless, the player still thought of how he could improve. Maybe it was his personality. Maybe he was too needy. Or maybe he gave too much. Maybe. The player didn't want it to be this way. Not without her. The girl had become everything to him and he just couldn't let it go. He couldn't let the girl go.
He wrote about it. Poems, songs, etc. But no matter how hard he tried, masking the pain of what happened with the two of them was impossible. "I am worth more. I am better than this," he thought. It didn't matter.
Have you ever felt so much love for someone that you felt you would do anything? No matter what the situation is or how things turn out, you are in it until the end? The kind of love that is balls to the wall and feels so exhilarating that nothing can stop you. Happy or sad, you would still endure anything and do anything for that person.
This is how the player felt towards the girl. He would jump in front of a bullet for her. Give his life to spare hers. The player thought the girl could do no wrong. Even after she had wronged him on more than one occasion. He shouldn't have held on. I don't think that was his fault though. He fell for her so hard that, when he hit the ground, the wind was knocked out of him. He had hoped she was there to break his fall, but she was with the man. Why? Because he offered a blanket of security that the player did not possess. The player could love the girl. He could give her his heart and his faith. He could give her everything in his heart but that wasn't what she needed. In this situation, love was the minuscule piece in the puzzle that stretched for miles.
So he ran. He ran from his feelings, his friends, his family and his life as he knew it. He didn't have any other choice. The constant agony of knowing he wasn't good enough for her would cut pieces out of him, slowly and painfully. All he wanted was for her to love him back. It doesn't seem so hard, but for her it was. The girl loved the player, but not the way the player needed. She just couldn't. It wasn't available. He hated himself for that. He hated that he allowed her to cheat on the man. He hated that the man was in the picture though. Maybe that was a small factor in this situation, but it was just another piece getting in the way. The player couldn't be the man and the man couldn't be the player.
Until next time.